tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i would punch a child for taco bell
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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