I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
