Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize