I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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