I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
