yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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