i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
