I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
