No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
