We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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