the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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