And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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