Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
