i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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