just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's never too late to be topless.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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