I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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