Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
