Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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