so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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