You really coming over, don't trick.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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