bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
