In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
