but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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