Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My pussy is not your playground.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
