I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
