i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Pooping to opera.
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