You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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