dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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