Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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