Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
