I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
