My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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