It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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