ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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