these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
