you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
