Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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