Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
