It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize