I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
