Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Fuck appropriateness.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There's always time for handjobs
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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