I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize