We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
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I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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