I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
