New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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