ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
