Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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