you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
