he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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