i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
