okay pat passed out under dana's car
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
