he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
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the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
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He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize