I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
