He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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