if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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