put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the day after is always just damage control
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
