I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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