my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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