please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
