I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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